They say hindsight is 20/20. It’s easy to look back at your past decisions and understand what you got right and what you got wrong along the way.
Some of the lessons are big ones (we all have THAT relationship that we wish we had never started), but some lessons are smaller, though just as impactful.
We all could have thought more carefully about our health and made better choices back then. We also could have reconsidered some of our priorities about work, money, and people in our lives.
Here are a few things I wish I could tell my 20-year-old self now.
You reap what you sow; what you do in your 20s manifests in your 50s
Life isn’t a series of unconnected events. We are all the cumulative results of everything we did before. The impact of big decisions is easy to track, like relationships that didn’t work out, jobs that led to better opportunities, and real estate deals that you wish you had made.
But even the little things add up over time. We may not have noticed what was happening in the moment, but some habits we start in our 20s carry on for decades afterward. If you had the foresight to start setting a little money aside from every paycheck, you might have a sizable nest egg by now. On the flip side, if you were frequently late paying bills back in the day, your credit rating might still be suffering now.
Maybe you can see where you made choices about your health that affect you now. Perhaps you couldn’t afford physical therapy for an injury back then. Nowadays, you may notice pain or weakness because you never got to fully rehabilitate the issue.
Pay attention to your fitness level
It’s so much easier to stay fit than get fit, just like it’s easier to maintain weight than lose weight. \
When you’re young and your metabolism is humming along, it seems like you afford to sleep in instead of going to the gym. But 20 or 30 years later, you may devoutly wish you hadn’t hit snooze quite so often. If you focus on functional strength, stamina, and flexibility when you’re young, you can stave off some age-related issues.
We all know that cardio exercise is good for, well, cardio health. The hours on the treadmill will pay off in better heart and blood vessel health over the long term. But strength training is essential for young people as well. Your muscles support your bones and joints, so getting and staying fit from a young age can reduce the numbers of aches and pains you have when you get older.
Pay attention to what you eat
Just like it seems fine to skip the gym when you’re young, it might seem okay to have dessert every night when you’re young as well. But desserts, high-fat meals, and too many cocktails can lead to chronic health problems later down the line.
Of course, it’s fine to indulge sometimes, but you don’t want to reach a point where your weight is impeding health or your favorite activities. You also don’t want to put yourself at risk of heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, liver or kidney disease.
Getting into a habit of eating healthy meals when you’re young will safeguard your health later.
Learn the people’s opinions don’t matter
Everyone remembers wondering, “What will people think?” while weighing a decision. We all worried about what our parents would say, or our friends, or a significant other. Avoiding judgment or criticism is important to everybody, at least sometimes.
But that changes over time. Eventually, you start relying on your own opinion more than anyone else’s.
One of the best things about getting older is the confidence that comes with it. Every success in life is like an award of personal pride that you can carry with your forever. Eventually, you’ll realize that your own judgment is not only good, but it’s also the only judgment that really matters.
Letting go of other people’s opinions is freeing. Once you do, you can live your life according to your own values and desires. The earlier your 20-year-old self learns this, the better.
Quality friendships matter
There is nothing more inspiring than seeing a pair of friends who have known each other for decades. They tell incredible stories about one another and laugh uproariously about all the good times they had in the past. You can also see that they were there for each other during times that weren’t so good.
There’s nothing wrong with having a big social group at any time in your life. If you are outgoing and like to hang out with people, it’s only natural to want a lot of friends around you. But don’t like quantity substitute for quality. Invest your emotional energy in the people who you want beside you over the long term.
Look for friends who are thoughtful and responsible. Find people who aren’t always consumed by petty drama. Don’t let a romantic partner come between you and a friend, especially if you think the friend will be there after the romance ends.
And, of course, look for friends with whom you can imagine laughing when you’re old and gray.
“Things” don’t matter
Look around your house. Is there anything there that you have had since you were 20 years old?
The answer is probably yes, but you’re probably also thinking about a souvenir from a trip or a piece of jewelry your grandmother gave you. The item isn’t as valuable as the associations that go with it.
It isn’t worth staying in a relationship or an apartment or a job just to hang on to some material thing that goes along with it. Selling furniture to downsize or splitting up kitchen supplies hurts at the time, but in the long run, the clean break is probably worth it.
You also shouldn’t get locked into a career just for the money to maintain a lifestyle. If every hour you’re at work is miserable, does it matter how nice your house or car is?
Life isn’t about collecting the best things. Seek out joy before you seek out more stuff.
Final Words
You can’t go back and teach your 20-year-old self the lessons you have learned at 50. But your 50-year-old self can keep all of the lessons in mind so that your 70-year-old self can benefit from them.